Klink's Rocket

Prisoners

 * Colonel Hogan - Bob Crane
 * Corporal Louis LeBeau - Robert Clary
 * Corporal Peter Newkirk - Richard Dawson
 * Sergeant James Kinchloe - Ivan Dixon
 * Sergeant Andrew Carter - Larry Hovis

Camp Personnel

 * Kommandant Wilhelm Klink - Werner Klemperer
 * Sergeant Hans Schultz - John Banner

Semi-Regulars

 * Hilda - Sigrid Valdis

Guest Stars

 * General Von Lintzer - Harold Gould
 * Billett - John Orchard

Synopsis
Hogan plans to detour the German bombers that normally attack London, to a nearby Allied airbase.

Plot Details
It is early in the morning at Stalag 13 and the morning roll-call is underway. After all the prisoners are accounted for, Klink decides to "grace" them with some information of the war. He claims that things are going well for the Third Reich, so much so that as they speak, London is being "introduced" to the Blitz. The news naturally does not sit well with the Heroes, and Newkirk least of all. In fact, when Klink dismisses them, the Heroes have to restrain the Englishman to stop him from giving Klink a piece of his mind. LeBeau assures Newkirk that they will make Germany pay "someday" but Hogan simply asks "why not now?" The Heroes are naturally confused and ask how they could help London from the middle of Germany, to which Hogan cryptically replies that Klink is also stuck in the middle of Germany too.

That night, the Heroes escort a rescued flier outside of camp to latch him to a tree to make it look like he only was just shot down. The pilot, Billett doesn't understand why, as he already was snuck into camp, but is assured that there is a proper plan in place and that no harm will come to him. As the Heroes return to the tunnels, Kinch informs Hogan that the Allies have prepared an abandoned factory in Leedingham and loaded it with anti-aircraft defenses and a flock of Spitfires to boot. Though the trap is set, Newkirk voices the opinion that they've bitten off more than they can chew, prompting Hogan to point out that all they have to do is "get Klink to believe there's a rocket factory in England, get him to pry the location out of Carter, notify the Luftwaffe, our anti-aircraft guns knock them off and we take the pressure off London. Simple." After a moment's pause, and thinking on what he just said, Hogan agrees with Newkirk.

The next day, the prisoners are working on cleaning and repairing the barracks, which gives Schultz cause to be suspicious. He politely asks Hogan to have the prisoners stop working as he feels that will put a stop to whatever they're planning, and Hogan agrees, on the condition that Schultz fetch some grapes from outside the camp fence as the prisoners are having a wine tasting festival. Schultz outright refuses, but changes his mind when Hogan sends Carter to get the grapes instead. As he leaves, Hogan remarks that "Schultz is doing his part, now it's Klink's turn to save London."

A little later in Klink's office, Hogan and Klink discuss Hogan's strategic planning over a map of enemy positions. Klink scorns Hogan and wonders how he became a colonel, to which the wily Hogan replies through hard work, and that his father is President of the United States. Klink brushes off the remark and points out that the German forces are solidly entrenched while the Allied forces are disorganised and retreating. As Klink retreives some documents from his desk, Hogan quickly steals part of a lamp and also rearranges the pins on Klink's map to show the Allies in a more threatening position. Klink refers to his map again, and somehow fails to realise the pins have been moved, thinking the Allies really are bearing down Munich and Berlin. Hogan points out that war is moving quickly, and might even be over before the Allies finish developing their new rocket gun. They discuss the possibility of such a weapon existing, with Klink refusing to believe, insisting Hogan is simply trying to put him off. Hogan (sincerely) confesses that he did make up the story, but Klink suddenly changes his mind and demands to know everything about the rocket gun. As they talk, Schultz hurries into the outer office with a handful of grapes, and hides them in his helmet before entering Klink's office. He tries to explain his presence, but Klink immediately rounds on him for his uniform being out of order. After ordering him to button his collar and put on his helmet, the Kommandant slaps the helmet on Schultz' head before hearing that a man in a parachute (Billett) is hanging from a tree outside of camp. Klink immediately leaves to find the man, just as the grape juices pour down Schultz' face. The heavyset sergeant morosely asks Hogan to tell the wine tasters that the grapes have already been crushed.

Later that day, Billett enters the barracks after a staged interrogation in which he "let slip" that he was on route to Russia, as per Hogan's orders. Hogan then commends Billett for his work and also hands the stolen lamp piece to Carter. The two go over Carter's part in the operation: he is to pretend that he is in possession of the "breach plate", and let Klink "discover" it. After going over some technical details, Hogan finds that Carter cannot remember the town in which the weapon is made, it takes several attempts before Carter remembers the name Leedingham.

During roll-call, Carter tries several obvious attempts to have the "breach plate" seen, all of which Klink misses, and it takes him to throw it to the Kommandant's feet for him to actually notice. Carter "accidentally" mentions that it is part of a rocket gun. After "letting slip" some more technical details, and that he knows where in London is it being made, Klink has Carter taken to his office for questioning. Hogan happily declares "the fish are biting today" as they leave.

Hogan's happiness turns to horror however as he overhears the interrogation over the coffee pot radio as the sound of Carter moaning is all they can hear. The Heroes come to the conclusion that Carter is being tortured, something they never believed Klink would do. Their thoughts on Klink are correct though, as Carter isn't being tortured, rather, he is being fed a delicious meal, so much so that the only pain he is receiving is that of a full stomach. Klink dismisses Carter, but his wording still suggests torture to the Heroes, and as Carter leaves, Schultz tries to steal some food and is angrily rounded on by Klink. Schultz distracts Klink from the theft by asking what the Kommandant's plan is to deal with the new rocket gun, to which Klink responds that he will call his old friend General von Lintzer, believing his old friend will put in a good word for him if he hears the information Carter has and thus assure Klink's promotion to general. Schultz remarks that Klink will always be a colonel to him and actually manages to steal back the food he took before leaving.

Carter returns to the barracks and is helped the Heroes. They muse over the "torture" but Carter somewhat unwisely mentions that he is full, revealing what actually happened to the Heroes. As the Heroes round on him for his apparent selfishness, Kinch arrives to inform them that Lintzer is on the way. Figuring it will be harder to fool Lintzer than Klink, Hogan orders Carter to go back for dinner and reveal the information to Lintzer, not Klink, and only do so after being pressed for the information to make it look authentic. He also orders Carter to bring back what food he doesn't finish in a bag. As a precaution, Hogan asks if Carter can remember the town he must name, to which Carter has forgotten and has to be reminded once more: Leedingham.

At dinner after receiving an excellent meal, Klink confers with Carter and tries to encourage him to divulge the information and make him look good, which Carter seemingly agrees to. Hilda informs Klink that Lintzer has arrived and the Prussian colonel greets his old friend with brotherly warmth, only to be rebuffed by the general who seemingly doesn't remember Klink at all. Lintzer is far more interested in learning about Hilda than the supposed rocket gun, which German intelligence has no intel on. Klink presents his "evidence" in the form of the "breach plate" which is enough to interest Lintzer, but not enough for him to remember Klink's name. After some discussion, Lintzer asks to see Carter so they can find the location of the rocket gun factory. Klink tries to tout himself up as having "beaten" Carter down bit by bit, only for it to come crashing down when Carter "realises" what Klink is up to and refuses to divulge anything. Enraged, Lintzer begins his own, far more menacing interrogation, which seemingly puts Carter in his place. After some stalling to sell the act, Carter tries to give up the location, but once again has forgotten the name of the town. The entire conversation is being overheard by the Heroes of course, and Hogan rushes over to save Carter. Hogan convincingly gives up the name Leedingham to Lintzer who insists he will have a recon flight sent over to verify the location, and if true, bomb it.

The next day, Lintzer approaches Hogan and informs him that the plant has been verified and as such, Lintzer himself will be leading a bombing mission to destroy it. The smug Lintzer vows not only to destroy the factory, but also Klink's military career once he returns to Berlin to deliver his report.

Some time later, Hogan is brought into Klink's office to hear the results of the bombing mission. Sixty-two bombers were brought down, including Lintzer's. Klink suspects the entire thing was a trap, but changes his mind after examining the "breach plate" again, and wondering what else could it be. Hogan jokingly suggests it is part of a lamp, and the two have a laugh at the idea.

Story Notes

 * This is the fiftieth episode produced in the series, but is the forty-sixth episode to be shown on television and is the fourteenth episode for the second season.
 * Harold Gould is perhaps best known as Rhoda's father Martin Morgenstern on Rhoda.
 * There is no such town as Leedingham in England, but there is a Ledingham in Ireland.

Timeline Notes and Speculations

 * This episode takes place from June 20th through June 23rd of 1944. Klink announces the fact London is being "introduced to the blitzkrieg"; i.e. attack by German rocket weapons. The first rocket attack on London was carried out with V-1 buzz bombs on June 13-18, 1944.
 * The rocket gun factory invented by Hogan might be an allusion to Operation Crossbow. This was the British response to the German rocket attacks, using a combination of barrage balloons and intense layered AA fire (the "rocket guns") to stop the V-1s before they reached their targets.
 * General Rudolf von Lintzer was a classmate of Klink's during his days in University.

Quotes

 * Klink: Prisoners, from time to time I bring you news of the war you are no longer a part. Things continue to go well for our victorious fatherland.

(Prisoners snicker and laugh)


 * Klink: Our illustrious Luftwaffe not only controls the skies of Europe, but at this moment is introducing London to our famous blitzkrieg.

(Prisoners snicker and laugh again)


 * Klink: Silence, we were forced to take these extreme measures, in order to crush all allied resistance, and bring this war to a successful conclusion for our glorious Third Reich.

Bloopers

 * In the scene where they put the Scottish soldier back up in the tree, you see LeBeau talking from up above. You can see his boots/shoes in between the branches. After he jumps down and is looking up to talk to the soldier, the soldier is talking back at him, but he is looking up and you can still see LeBeau's boots/shoes.