Klink for the Defense

Prisoners

 * Colonel Hogan - Bob Crane
 * Corporal Louis LeBeau - Robert Clary
 * Corporal Peter Newkirk - Richard Dawson
 * Sergeant Andrew Carter - Larry Hovis
 * Sergeant Richard Baker - Kenneth Washington

Camp Personnel

 * Kommandant Wilhelm Klink - Werner Klemperer
 * Sergeant Hans Schultz - John Banner

Semi-Regulars

 * General Albert Burkhalter - Leon Askin
 * Major Wolfgang Hochstetter - Howard Caine

Guest Stars

 * Col. Hugo Hauptmann - Sandy Kenyon
 * Fräulein Hibbler - Lynnette Mettey
 * President of Court - Karl Bruck

Synopsis
Klink is appointed defense counsel for a German officer on trial for treason who has secret plans intended for London. Hogan helps Klink prove the officer's innocence in order to secure the plans.

Plot Details
It is noon in Germany and a plainclothed and armed Hogan approaches an old farmhouse to be greeted, somewhat indifferently by a Luftwaffe officer. The man is none other than Colonel Hugo Hauptmann, whom Hogan describes as "the most decorated man in the Luftwaffe" and also as a national hero. Hauptmann quickly gets to business; his days as an Allied contact are numbered as he is sure the Gestapo are onto him. Hauptmann does however have one final bit of information; a detailed map of German submarine bases which he insists he will only hand over to the Allies when he is safe in London. Hogan tries to convince the colonel to see his point of view, but Hauptmann is adamant that he will not give up the map until he is in England. Hogan agrees to the deal and instructs Hauptmann to wait until a plane to England can be organised. As they speak, Hauptmann apparently hears a noise, which Hogan does not, but not wanting to take chances, Hogan leaves via the window. Hauptmann checks that the map is still secured in the window shutter, and hides it just in time for Major Hochstetter and his bodyguard to break into the farmhouse and arrest the hapless colonel.

Later back at camp, Schultz delivers the prisoners Red Cross packages and goes to great lengths to try and receive a few handouts in exchange for the delivery, notably by trying to trade in an old girlie magazine. Hogan tries to bribe Schultz with one chocolate bar into giving up some information on German aircraft bases which Schultz declines, before asking for two insisting that "Colonel Hauptmann has his price but not me." Hogan immediately asks Schultz about Hauptmann, but Schultz insists "I know nothing" before asking for two chocolate bars instead. Carter provides the goods and so Schultz explains that Colonel Hauptmann has been arrested for treason. He is being held quietly in Stalag 13 by Hitler's orders so as to avoid a public scandal of the war hero turning traitor. Schultz reveals that both Hauptmann's "fair" trial and his execution have been scheduled for the next morning. Hogan asks what evidence the Gestapo has on Hauptmann, with Schultz insisting "I know nothing" again, but will try to find out in exchange for one more chocolate bar, which Hogan gives. After Schultz leaves, Newkirk muses that the Gestapo might already have the map, but Hogan disagrees, as Hauptmann would likely have kept it well hidden.

Meanwhile, Hochstetter and Burkhalter are also discussing the case in Klink's office with Klink nowhere to be seen. Hochstetter insists that the trial is a waste of time as the evidence they have on him is air-tight. Burkhalter however reminds Hochstetter that since Hauptmann is a national hero, they must give him a trial for appearances sake. The conversation soon turns to Hauptmann's yet to be assigned defense counsel. Burkhalter cannot legally assign one due to his role as prosecutor, and since his staff wouldn't dare oppose him, for fear of offending him, he cannot "volunteer" them to the post either. The heavyset general declares that he must find an officer who already offends him to take the role, and that man of course is Klink.

Hogan, Newkirk and LeBeau enter the cooler ostensibly to lock LeBeau up for five days for "attacking a guard." The unbelieving Schultz asks when it happened, just before the French corporal kicks him in the shins, prompting Hogan to explain "just a moment ago." The furious Schultz tries to drag LeBeau into the cooler but is interrupted by Hochstetter who proclaims the cooler off-limits until after Hauptmann's court martial. After asking, and threatening Hogan about the state of the recreation hall (which the prisoners have been ordered to prepare for the trial to be held in) the Gestapo major instructs Schultz to tell Colonel Hauptmann the "good news" regarding his defense counsel: Klink has "volunteered" much to the surprise of the Heroes and Schultz. After Hochstetter, LeBeau and Schultz leave, Hogan "reminds" Newkirk about the Englishman's former career in law (which Newkirk has never had) and insists that he will help the defense counsel.

Hogan and Newkirk show up in Klink's outer office and find Klink himself working on the case in the foulest of moods. Not only has he been kicked out of his office and living quarters, but he also has no hope of winning the case he "volunteered" for, and so his defense strategy is simply to ask for a smaller firing squad. After berating Klink for giving up, Hogan soon points out that Klink might very well be executed in the court of public opinion, as well as an actual court martial for having failed to defend the most decorated war hero in Luftwaffe history. Klink takes the bait and Hogan claims that Newkirk was a successful barrister prior to the war and could assist the case. The Englishman insists on seeing Hauptman before the case begins, which Klink agrees to arrange.

Newkirk meets with Hauptmann in the cooler, and talks up Hauptmann's chances by touting Klink as being a superb expert in legal matters before asking where the map is hidden. Hauptmann however still refuses to give up the map's location, causing the deflated Newkirk to sum up Klink's actual skill by pointing out "he'll be lucky if he isn't shot with you." Hauptmann reveals that the concrete evidence the Gestapo has on him are recordings from his telephone calls, these recordings were made by his secretary, Fraulein Hibbler, who is in fact a Gestapo agent. These recordings are being held in Klink's safe, and if destroyed would hold up the case. Newkirk, though unimpressed by Hauptmann's discourteous attitude to him, agrees to look into the matter but quips that they will make sure any enemy agents they deal with in the future are truly on their side.

Schultz meanwhile brings Klink his dinner, and when Klink tells him to put it aside, the greedy sergeant tries to take it away under the guise of giving it to Klink when he is less busy (the same trick he used to eat Klink's lunch). Klink angrily orders Schultz to stand guard outside the outer office door and ensure he is not disturbed. Hochstetter and Burkhalter come out from Klink's office ready to lock the office up, their work finished. LeBeau sneaks into the office via the window and gets to work on Klink's safe. Burkhalter and Hochstetter meanwhile, confer with Klink on the case. Klink insists he will have Hauptmann found not guilty, declaring the Gestapo's evidence to be hearsay at best. Burkhalter is impressed with Klink's work and encourages him to use the same story in the court martial (thinking he is merely acting), but the astounded Hochstetter points out that Klink is being sincere. The Prussian colonel insists he will win and makes a few unpleasant comments about "the fat prosecutor" before being informed by an unimpressed Burkhalter that he himself is handling the prosecution. Predictably, Klink tries to have himself excused from the trial out of fear of facing his commanding officer in a legal battle, but Burkhalter will have none of it. The heavyset general orders Klink to give Hauptmann a proper legal defence.

LeBeau meanwhile returns from Klink's office to Hogan's, having retrieved the incriminating evidence. Hogan instructs Newkirk and Baker to get to work doctoring the recording to make it seem that is a forgery made by one "Sally Holmes" a British operative. LeBeau thereafter sneaks the doctored recording back into Klink's safe.

The next day, Hogan and the rest of the Heroes put the finishing touches on the recreation hall, and Hogan confers with Klink about the case. Klink, despite Burkhalter's orders, insists that he will throw his case out of fear of his superior officer. He goes on to point out that the recordings are concrete evidence of Hauptmann's guilt, but Hogan points out that since the recordings were made by Hauptmann's secretary, the Gestapo have fallen for "an old trick." Hogan goes on to claim that Hauptmann's secretary is in fact a British agent called Sally Holmes, and she forges false evidence to incriminate German agents all the while posing as a Gestapo agent, which is why she has never been caught. Though a downright lie, Hogan successfully manages to persuade Klink into thinking it is fact.

Later at the trial as Burkhalter is questioning Hibbler, Klink interrupts him by claiming that Hibbler is a British agent, and repeats what he was told earlier from Hogan. He is overruled by the judge who also overrules his objections to Burkhalter's accusations against Hauptmann. Hibbler goes on to point out her recordings of Hauptmann's conversations are proof of his guilt, but once again, Klink accuses Hibbler of being Sally Holmes, and is ordered by Burkhalter to shut up. The recording is played, but soon seamlessly transitions into the Heroes doctored portion, which confirms Klink's claims in the eyes of the court. Despite Hibbler's protests of innocence, she is soon arrested, and Burkhalter clears Hauptmann of wrongdoing (thus allowing him to hand over the map to the Heroes). Hauptmann immediately thanks Klink for his assistance, and the proud Kommandant merely replies quite truthfully that in his entire career, he has never lost a legal case.

Story Notes

 * This is the one hundred and sixty-seventh produced episode of the series, but is the one hundred and sixty-third to be shown on television, and is also the nineteenth episode shown for the Sixth Season.
 * The episode title alludes to Judd, for the Defense, a legal drama which aired on ABC-TV for two seasons ending in September 1969.
 * The girlie magazine that Schultz tries to trade for is Fräulein Was Ist or What is woman.
 * The character Hugo Hauptmann and the trial theme of the episode is a loose allusion to Bruno Hauptmann. Hauptmann was placed on trial in 1935 for the kidnapping of Charles Lindbergh's baby.
 * Klink reveals that he hasn't seen any real combat since World War I.
 * Klink is possibly making a reference to the episode Operation Hannibal when mentioning himself as never having lost a case. In that episode, he heads a "fair" court-martial against LeBeau, and wins due to his role as judge, jury and prosecutor. Thus Klink has an undefeated courts-martial record of two wins and zero losses. He also mentions never having lost a case in that episode too.
 * The safehouse where Hogan meets Hauptmann is the same location that he meets Lily Frankel in "Rockets or Romance".

Timeline Notes and Speculations

 * This episode takes place in 1945. Schultz says it's been three years since Hogan arrived at Stalag 13, although he gets the month wrong ("I think it was November ....").

Quotes
Burkhalter: "Who's defending Hauptman?"

Hochstetter: "Whoever you pick to defend him."

Burkhalter: "I'm the prosecutor. I cannot appoint a defense counsel. You should know that."

Hochstetter: "I'm the Gestapo. What do I know about the law?"

Burkhalter: "Hochstetter, Klink is a fine actor. Look how well he's played the part of a German officer all these years."

Klink: "I am not acting. I intend to nail the prosecutor's fat hide to the wall!"

Burkhalter: "Fat? What makes you think he's fat?"

Klink: "That's how I pictured him. Why? What does he look like?"

Burkhalter: "A lot like me."

Klink: "Well, then he is fat. Not that you're fat. I mean not nearly as fat as he is."

Burkhalter: "As who is?"

Klink: "The fat prosecutor, whoever that is."

Burkhalter: "That is me."

Klink: "[pauses] You are the prosecutor?"

Burkhalter: "The fat prosecutor."

Hochstetter: "You're a fair man."

Burkhalter: "No, I'm not. I'm also easily offended."

Hochstetter: "Colonel Klink -- a man who could have been great, except that he wasn't very good."