The Schultz Brigade

Prisoners

 * Colonel Hogan - Bob Crane
 * Corporal Louis LeBeau - Robert Clary
 * Corporal Peter Newkirk - Richard Dawson
 * Sergeant James Kinchloe - Ivan Dixon
 * Sergeant Andrew Carter - Larry Hovis

Camp Personnel

 * Kommandant Wilhelm Klink - Werner Klemperer
 * Sergeant Hans Schultz - John Banner

Semi-Regulars

 * General Albert Burkhalter - Leon Askin
 * Fraulein Hilda - Sigrid Valdis

Guest Stars

 * Colonel Burmeister - Parley Baer
 * Colonel Bussie - Lou Krugman

Synopsis
Klink and two other prison camp kommandants are arrested for conspiring against General Burkhalter.

Plot Details
It is daytime at Stalag 13 and Newkirk is showing some prisoners and LeBeau his magic tricks when they are interrupted by Schultz who has been instructed to put up a document on the notice board. Despite his attempts to prevent the prisoners reading it, soon enough, Hogan has read the notice to all the nearby prisoners. It is an offer from the German Propaganda Ministry for Allied prisoners to join the Luftwaffe. The prisoners are naturally outraged but Hogan soon takes control of the situation. Schultz points out a message he wrote on the document and after some coaxing from Hogan, the heavyset sergeant reads his speech of how the prisoners are rotting in Germany's "escape proof prison camps." which he denounces as a figure of speech. He further goes on to say that the prisoners should take the opportunity to be part of the history of "the thousand year Reich!" The Heroes are unimpressed, but it does give Hogan an idea. The Heroes will convince some German officers to defect to England in order to organise the prisoners there into a fighting unit for the Allies. Hogan decides that the new unit will be named "The Schultz Brigade," much to Schultz' chagrin.

Later that day, Klink is having a secretive meeting in his office with Colonels Burmeister and Bussie, Kommandants of Stalag 10 and 19 respectively. Burmeister and Bussie are attempting to coax Klink into participating in their plot to oust General Burkhalter. They plan on seperately complaining to the Gestapo that Burkhalter is forcing them to give him forty per cent of the prisoner's food allowance. Klink is reluctant, more out of the danger he would be in if the plan failed as opposed to loyalty to his commanding officer. The entire conversation is being overheard by the Heroes on their coffee pot receiver, and Hogan guesses that Klink will back out of the plan. True to Hogan's guess, Klink does so, and the wily American colonel decides to interrupt the meeting to save Klink from temptation. Unfortunately for him, Schultz arrives with orders from General Burkhalter that all prisoners are to be confined to barracks. As it turns out, Burkhalter is well aware of the three Kommandants plan to have him ousted and makes an offer for one to confess the group's guilt in exchange for "saving their own skin." Klink tries to tout himself up with the claim that he would never betray his fellows if he were involved, but goes on to claim innocence and lays the blame entirely on Burmeister and Bussie who react angrily to Klink's betrayal. Burkhalter however orders their arrest, with the assurance of a fair trail which will result in their executions. Klink's reminder of Burkhalter's deal falls on deaf ears, with the heavyset General merely replying that Klink "will be shot last."

Klink is visited that night in his quarters by Hogan who promptly berates Klink for getting involved, even pointing out that many of Klink's classmates who are Generals have been killed in action and even more have been shot by Hitler. Klink understands Hogan's logic, but will not accept Hogan's abuses considering he will be shot and has suffered enough. Satisfied, Hogan offers to act as a witness for Klink's defense and lie for him. Klink gratefully takes Hogan up on his offer.

The next day during the three Kommandants "trial" Burkhalter openly denies the accused the right to hear the evidence against them and admits that he has personally dictated their confessions for them. Klink calls Hogan in as his witness and asks questions that would clear his name. Hogan however implicates Klink solely for the plot to usurp Burkhalter and claims that Burmeister and Bussie were innocent. This "evidence" is enough for Burkhalter who releases Bussie and Burmeister and sentences Klink to death. He sets the execution date for the next day and then leaves with Hilda for a lunch date. Schultz tries to ask Klink if he can keep Klink's treasured cavalry helmet, but the condemned colonel angrily orders him to put it down.

Later that night, Bussie and Burmeister are happily drinking in the camp's guest quarters where they are met by Hogan who they greet cheerfully. Hogan quickly puts an end to their fun by claiming that the two were still in danger as the Gestapo would likely investigate the case and that he himself might end up admitting the true story if pressured. Sensing their weakness, Hogan gives the two a pair of American uniforms and tells them that he can get them out of Germany, which they reluctantly accept.

Soon after, Hogan meets with Newkirk and Carter who are dressed in German uniforms and gives them instructions before moving to the cooler and having Schultz open Klink's cell at gunpoint, though Schultz isn't to know that the gun is loaded with blanks. Hogan claims that he has seen Bussie and Burmeister armed and entering Burkhalter's quarters. Klink isn't happy to see Hogan, but he is all for letting the two Kommandants shoot the heavyset General, but Hogan points out that Klink would still face execution. He makes a point that saving Burkhalter would clear Klink's name, and the hapless Colonel agrees.

Newkirk and Carter meanwhile, don face masks and break into Burkhalter's quarters. With the General at gunpoint, Newkirk "confesses" their guilt and that Klink was innocent. They further state that they will kill Burkhalter and one of them would take his place. Burkhalter tries to negotiate with the two and offers to retire thus leaving his post open, when prompted by Newkirk, he declares that he will simply let Klink be shot and that he "never could stand the man," They are soon interrupted by Klink himself, with Hogan and Schultz in tow who are waiting for them outside the building. Klink orders that "Bussie and Burmeister" give themselves up, prompting Burkhalter to take back his cold dismissal of Klink and mark him a "wonderful friend." Newkirk and Carter move to the windows and begin a staged shootout with Hogan, as Klink and Schultz are too cowardly to participate. Eventually the gunfight is brought to a conclusion with two muffled shots. Hogan, declaring that "Bussie and Burmeister" have killed themselves, has Klink and Schultz accompany him into the building. While Hogan "checks" for the two Kommandants, Burkhalter praises Klink for saving him and refers to him as his brother, before saying that Klink could legally become his brother by marrying his sister, the widowed Frau Linkmeyer, much to Klink's chagrin. Hogan interrupts them and tries to leave, but not before Burkhalter turns on him and orders Klink to punish him for his false testimony. Hogan is promptly sentenced to thirty days in the cooler. On his way out, the upset Hogan is greeted by an enthusiastic Newkirk and Carter but tells them to "knock it off."

Later that night, and before his confinement, Hogan gives Bussie and Burmeister their final instructions on assembling the Schultz Brigade before sending them off to England. Bussie asks who Schultz is, and Hogan replies that he is "only the most courageous, intrepid, daring, gutsy..." only to be interrupted by Schultz himself who takes one look at the wanted colonels and declares that "I see nothing... nothing." before leaving. Hogan gives the fleeting explanation to the two that "that's Schultz."

Some time after, Hogan has been brought to Klink's office who needs his advice now that Burkhalter is trying to set him up with Frau Linkmeyer. Hogan offers to help in exchange for release from the cooler, which Klink grants. Hogan then gives Klink the claim that Klink would be unfit to marry Frau Linkmeyer as he may be sent to combat and that there is no guarantee he would live very long, thus it would be unfair to put her through that. Klink initially is pleased, but realises that Frau Linkmeyer is well aware that he is stationed permanently at Stalag 13 and thus the story would fall through. Hogan then suggests Klink tell her that he is a member of a conspiracy to kill Adolf Hitler. The exasperated Klink demands to know why he would say such a thing, and points out he would be killed for it. Without skipping a beat, Hogan muses that Klink might find "it was worth it."

Story Notes

 * This is both the thirty-third produced episode of the series and the thirty-fourth episode to be shown on television, and is the second episode of the Second Season.
 * This is the first time that we see commandants of other prison camps: Colonel Burmeister and Colonel Bussie.
 * This is the first time we see Hogan pull a gun on Schultz, even though it's loaded with blanks.
 * This is the first time, but not the last, that General Burkhalter himself is the subject of an operation by our heroes.

Timeline Notes and Speculations

 * This appears to takes place in 1943, within a few weeks or months after Cupid Comes to Stalag 13. Both of Klink's fellow camp commandants reveal that they too had Frau Linkmeyer foisted on them by General Burkhalter as a potential wife.
 * Hogan's joke about the anti-Hitler conspiracy might confirm a 1943 date. Our heroes were apparently unaware of the truth of such a conspiracy until The Safecracker Suite.

Bloopers

 * At 2:40, when Schultz is reading his 'speech' to the prisoners, the front side of the cue cards he is holding can be read.  It not only has the words of the speech written on it, but also Schultz's "...you wouldn't want to hear it" and "a figure of speech" dialogue.