Oil for the Lamps of Hogan

Prisoners

 * Colonel Hogan - Bob Crane
 * Corporal Louis LeBeau - Robert Clary
 * Corporal Peter Newkirk - Richard Dawson
 * Sergeant James Kinchloe - Ivan Dixon
 * Sergeant Andrew Carter - Larry Hovis

Camp Personnel

 * Kommandant Wilhelm Klink - Werner Klemperer
 * Sergeant Hans Schultz - John Banner

Semi-Regulars

 * Fräulein Helga - Cynthia Lynn
 * Corporal Karl Langenscheidt - Jon Cedar
 * General Albert Burkhalter - Leon Askin

Guest Stars

 * Fritz Bowman - William Mims

Synopsis
Hogan convinces Klink that there is oil underneath the camp in order to discourage the Germans from building a synthetic fuel plant there.

Plot Details
The episode begins with the guards standing in formation in front of Klink's office just as a staff car enters through the open gates of Stalag 13. As the car stops in front of the building, Schultz tells the other guards to come to attention. A smiling Colonel Klink then welcomes to the camp General Burkhalter and Fritz Bowman of IG Bowman Industries, after the pair leaves the staff car and before Burkhalter introduces Bowman to Klink. As the trio starts to converse, Colonel Hogan talks with Corporal LeBeau before he tells him to go to listening post three to get information on the Kraut with Klink and Burkhalter, meaning Bowman. Hogan and several other prisoners then walk towards the still conversing trio, before being turned away by Schultz, while LeBeau uses it as cover so that he can get into Klink's office. After he gets into the Kommandant's inner office, LeBeau sees three prisoners cleaning the room while they are being watched by Corporal Langenscheidt. He quietly signals to Sergeant Carter what he wants them to do so that he can get into the safe. After that is done, a fake argument starts up between Sergeant Kinchloe and Corporal Newkirk, with Carter soon joining in, which helps to distract Langenscheidt long enough for Newkirk to open up the nearby safe and get LeBeau safely inside. Once LeBeau is inside the safe, the altercation ends and Newkirk start to apologize to the other three for causing trouble, just before Schultz enters the room to find out what is going on. After Schultz asks them who has originally caused the problem, Carter starts to apologize to Schultz for the altercation, soon followed by Kinch and Newkirk, which leads to a brand new argument between the three as Langescheidt also points to himself, before Schultz orders the trio to stop arguing. Schultz then takes a head count, soon seeing that all three prisoners who are suppose to be inside the room are still there. After hearing some comments from the three, Schultz orders them to leave the room before he stops in front of Langenscheidt and gives him some advice on how to be tough with the prisoners. At this point, the two German soldiers come to attention as Klink enters the office. Klink dismisses them, before he starts to take off his coat while telling Helga that he and his guests are not to be disturbed.

After Helga leaves, Klink hangs up his coat as Burkhalter and Bowman enters the room, before the pair rejects some drinks that are offered to them by Klink as they sit down behind Klink's desk. As LeBeau listens in on the conversation from inside the safe, Burkhalter starts to inform Klink why he and Bowman are at the stalag: they plan to turn it into a synthetic fuel plant because of how destructive the Allies bombing raids have so far been on other synthetic fuel plants, and based on the assumption that the Allies would never bomb a POW camp, while they would transfer the prisoners to a new Stalag 13 that would be built elsewhere. Klink isn't so sure about Burkhalter's assumption but makes no more objections once he is told by Burkhalter that it is the general's own idea. Burkhalter then informs Klink that the prisoners would be moved once the new stalag is ready, and then asks him how soon it would take him to organize the transfer. After Klink replies that he would have the information for him soon, Burkhalter tells him that he and Bowman would be staying for a few days to look over the grounds and discuss plans. The trio then leave the room. A short time later, Kinch, Carter and Newkirk are back inside the room, and then pulls a near un-conscious LeBeau, who had been suffocating inside the safe during the conversation, out of the safe. After they give the Frenchman something to drink, they leave Klink's office with the information.

As the prisoners sit around a table inside Barracks 2, they are shocked by LeBeau's information about the Germans plans to build a synthetic plant there while moving them elsewhere, since their being moved to another location would disrupt their entire operation. After getting over the initial shock, Hogan suggests that they find some way to get the fuel plant built elsewhere, as well as having London informed about what is going on. Before they can start, though, Schultz comes into the building, soon telling Hogan that Klink wants to see him in his office. After Schultz leaves, Hogan decides to start delaying Burkhalter and Bowman's plan by getting through to Klink's heart, after he tells Carter to get him Klink's picture from the delousing station.

Inside Klink's office, Klink informs Hogan about the move, after he hears Hogan tell him that he already knows about it, based on Bowman's being there, before he tells Hogan that they would be moved temporarily to another prison camp while a new Stalag 13 would be built. After warning Hogan not to cause any trouble during the move, he tells him that the move is to take place in three days. After ignoring Hogan's comments about how hard it would be for the prisoners to get ready to move in such a short time, Klink tells Hogan to get his men ready, no matter what. Klink is then surprised to hear Hogan ask him for his autograph, claiming that it is for his men. He is even more surprised when Hogan tells him why they wanted the autograph: they think (or rather, Hogan claims) that Klink would be heading back into combat after the move to the new stalag has been completed. Klink, as he takes the bait, gets nervous about his future, as Hogan makes him think that Burkhalter has something else in mind for the camp, especially after he refuses to answer Hogan's questions about the move. Hogan quickly suggests that Klink tries to stall, although Klink doubts that he could actually get Burkhalter to change his mind.

Later, Hogan, Newkirk and Kinch, with the later two pushing a dolly that contains an empty oil drum, shows up at the camp's oil storage facility which is being guarded by Schultz and another guard. As Hogan talks with Schultz, claiming that they are returning the empty drum, Newkirk and Kinch leaves with a drum that is filled with oil when Schultz tells them to leave the storage facility with the barrel as they should not be bringing it back without orders. The trio then leaves with the filled drum, as Schultz thinks he has told them to leave with the original, empty drum. That night, LeBeau, Carter and Newkirk appear through a hole in the ground that appears just underneath the water tower, right in front of a surprised Schultz. The trio, in spite of Schultz telling them to go back into the tunnel and the barracks, soon make enough noise so that they are soon noticed by the other guards. Schultz is then forced to "capture" the "escaping" trio as the search lights are soon shinning on the quartet.

A short time later, Klink is interrogating the trio inside his office, in front of Hogan and Schultz. Klink soon sends the 'recaptured' trio to the cooler for 30 days, a sentence that is to begin once General Burkhalter is gone from the camp. But, before the three recaptured prisoners are able to leave his office, Klink notices the dirt on their faces. After asking them about it, and then hearing their responses, he asks to see Carter's hands, soon noticing that they are covered in oil. Carter then tells Klink that there is oil under the camp, as he hears some angry responses about it from both Newkirk and LeBeau, claiming that it is the main reason why their tunnel had come up under the tower, else they would have drown in the stuff. Klink then dismisses the trio, and then Schultz, before he starts to speak with Hogan. Hogan, at first, tries to explain away the oil, claiming that it probably came from a broken gas line before he finally tells Klink, as he secretly take a cigar from inside Klink's cigar box, that it is actually 100% black gold, and that it had been discovered six months earlier by an American Lieutenant, who has been trained as both a engineer and a geologist. The Lieutenant has told him about his discovery before he got transferred to another camp, and that he had planned to keep its discovery a secret until after the war, when he would be able to cheaply buy the land, put in a few oil wells and start drilling. After Klink claims that Hogan is being greedy and selfish, Hogan replies that there is actually enough oil to make ten millionaires. Upon hearing that, Klink suggests that the two of them should go into business as partners, while saying that he would finally have money to go with his 500-year old aristocratic family name. Hogan agrees to take Klink on as a partner, but he then reminds Klink about the synthetic fuel plant that is to be built there, as it would lead to the discovery of the oil field. When Klink asks Hogan what they should do, Hogan has a suggestion: bring Burkhalter in on the deal. After Klink reluctantly agrees to the idea, Hogan leaves his office.

Klink then goes to his bedroom, where he wakes up Burkhalter, and tells him about what Hogan has just told him about the oil field under the camp. Burkhalter, who also falls for Hogan's tale, comments about whether drilling should be done now, or after the war, claiming that drilling now would upset the German war effort, since the Third Reich had already invested heavily in synthetic oil. Burkhalter then tells Klink that they will wait until after the war to get the oil, while they will for now end the present project for building the synthetic fuel plant at the camp. When Klink asks him about Bowman, Burkhalter says that he would have take care of that by having a talk with him. Upon being told that the name of the future oil company would be the Burkhalter, Klink and Hogan Oil Company, Burkhalter suggests that they drop Hogan. The next day, Bowman refuses to have the plant built elsewhere, saying that the camp is an excellent location for it, while he counters Klink's comments about the distance to the nearest railroad station and that there is no nearby airfield by saying that tracks could be laid towards the camp and that an airfield could be built. He then counters Burkhalter's own attempt to involve the Führer by suggesting that they give him both of their proposals and let him decide. Burkhalter then suggests that they look over the grounds once again while Klink tells Helga to tell Schultz to bring in Hogan. Inside Barracks 2, the prisoners think that Hogan's plan has failed since Bowman is not giving in. At that moment, Hogan has another idea: they would contact London and asks for a fake bombing raid of the camp for the next day, while the planes would actually drop leaflets. Meanwhile, the prisoners would set up some dynamite charges that would be set to go off during the fake air raid. Hogan then tells Kinch what he wants London to put on the leaflets. Allied bombers are then shown leaving England to conduct the fake raid.

During the next day's roll call, Hogan is talking with Klink as the later hopes that Burkhalter is finally able to convince Bowman to change his mind. After telling him that Burkhalter should be able to do it, Klink is still worried. Hogan then looks at his watch, and after making another comment, the air raid sirens go off, quickly followed by some explosions (the dynamite charges), as everyone hits the deck. After Klink tells Burkhalter and then Burkhalter tells Bowman that the idea of the Allies not bombing a POW camp have just been proven wrong, Klink orders Schultz to get the prisoners back into their barracks. At this point, the just released leaflets start falling into camp. Klink picks one up and reads it, seeing that it claims that the present raid is only a warning of what would happen when the plant itself is finally built. Burkhalter, upon seeing the leaflet, realizes that security has been breached and therefore, building the plant there is no longer feasible. Bowman agrees, but then asks how the Allies could've found out about the plant. Klink tries to place the blame on Hogan, which is rejected since neither Burkhalter or Bowman could believe that a POW could alert London of their plans.

At the end of the episode, Hogan and Klink are standing on the porch of the Kommandant's building, after Burkhalter and Bowman have left, before Klink tells Hogan that he has found out about his earlier ruse with the oil drum, as he shows him the evidence, the earlier taken oil drum. Hogan replies that he did it for Klink's benefit, to keep him from being sent to the Russian Front. But, when Klink brings up the fact that Burkhalter still believes that there is oil under the camp, Hogan tells him that Burkhalter wouldn't do anything about it until after the war, and since the Germans are losing the war, he would simply go back into the woodwork. When Klink asks him what would happen if the Germans win, Hogan didn't think it would be possible, since the Germans need oil to win. A frustrated Klink realizes that Hogan is right as he watch Hogan leave.

Story Notes

 * This is the eighteenth produced episode of the series, but is the fourteenth one to be shown on television.
 * Klink's safe make its first appearance in this episode.
 * The bulletin board appears in this episode.
 * Klink's office is not bugged at this time. LeBeau has to hide inside Klink's safe for eavesdropping purposes. This is the only time we ever see this happen, as it was a very dangerous thing for LeBeau to do (possibility of suffocation). Starting with the fifth season, a false closet will be built in the outer office, hidden behind a picture of SS Reichsfuherer Himmler, for use whenever the bugs in Klink's offce are not available.
 * A famous American businessman is mentioned in the episode: Diamond Jim Brady.
 * Footage taken during the war of an actual American bombing run is used towards the end of the episode.

Timeline Notes and Speculations

 * This episode probably takes place in late February or early March of 1944. The systematic bombing of Germany's synthetic fuels industry by the Allies began in February of 1944. It also appears to take place after Psychic Kommandant, as Klink's office bug burned out in that episode.
 * This is the episode where Klink mentions that he comes from a 500 year old aristocratic family; he also mentions that it would now have the money to back it up. That would place the founding of the Klink family sometime in the 1400s.
 * It is implied in the dialogue that the tunnel network under Stalag 13 took a long time to build. Which is true, as in real life, the tunnels under Stalag Luft III took just over a year for the Allied POWs to dig.

Quotes
As the prisoners watch Colonel Klink speak to General Burkhalter and Fritz Bowman:


 * Colonel Hogan: Who could that be?
 * Corporal LeBeau: Somebody important, maybe?
 * Klink: General Burkhalter, welcome to Stalag 13. (Sergeant Schultz walks over to Klink's right.)
 * Burkhalter (with Bowman behind him): Well, Klink, this is Herr Fritz Borman, IG Bowman Industries.
 * Klink: Herr Borman, my pleasure, sir.
 * LeBeau: He's got a beautiful fur collar.
 * Hogan: I've got a sudden attack of curiosity. LeBeau, take up listening post number three. See what you can find out about that Kraut.
 * LeBeau: Right, Colonel.
 * Hogan: Uh, be careful, the collar may still be alive.

After Schultz has just entered Klink's office, after hearing some commotion among the prisoners and Corporal Langenscheidt, not knowing that LeBeau has just been put into the safe by Corporal Newkirk:

The three prisoners start to argue over who is at fault while Langenscheidt starts to point at himself.
 * Schultz (just entered the room): Wat ist das?! Fighting when there is a war on? This isn't nice.
 * Sergeant Carter: Sorry Schultz. It was my fault. I..I..I..
 * Sergeant Kinchloe (As Carter continues to talk): Really, it was my fault..
 * Carter (to Kinch): I did it...
 * Newkirk: Now it wasn't, it was my fault.
 * Schultz: Quiet! (Starts counting) One, two, three. (Stops to think) Count is right.
 * Carter: Look at Schultz. He can count up to three!
 * Newkirk: He's brillant!
 * Kinch: Night school paying off, huh, Schultz?
 * Schultz: Ha, ha. Night school paying off. Ha, jolly jokers. Raus, bitte! Right face! A forward march! A one, two, three, four. A one, a two, a three, a four. (Looking at Langenscheidt) You have to be tough with them, otherwise they won't respect you. A one... (Stops and then goes to attention as Klink enters the office.)
 * Klink (to Schultz and Langenscheidt): Dismissed!!! (both leave).

After Carter, Kinch and Newkirk gets LeBeau out of the safe:


 * LeBeau: Quick, a glass of wine! I'm fainting!
 * Kinchloe: Snap out of it, Louis!
 * LeBeau: Make it Burgundy, '33 was a good year.

Kinch grabs a bottle and gives it to LeBeau, who starts drinking...


 * Carter: You know what? I bet he's got claustrophobia!
 * LeBeau (Looks at Carter, panting): Now you tell me?

During the meeting to determine what to do about them being sent to a new camp:


 * Hogan (Shocked): Moving us?? You sure about it?
 * LeBeau (nods head): Oui, mon colonel! As soon as possible, they said.
 * Newkirk: It means we're finished!
 * Kinchloe: Out of business! Kaput!
 * Carter: Well, we can't move. The guys have just started digging another tunnel.
 * Kinchloe (Surprise): Another one?
 * Carter: Well, this one goes on top of the others. We needed an overpass.
 * Hogan: Well, tell them to forget it. If we don't come up with something, everything goes: tunnels, radios, contacts in town, even LeBeau's mushrooms under the rec hall.
 * LeBeau (Emphatic): Never! I'll kill first! (while giving the symbol for cutting a throat)

After Schultz has told Hogan that Klink wants to see him, Hogan comes up with an idea to stop the Germans' plans of turning the camp into a synthetic fuel plant for the German war effort:


 * Kinchloe: What do Klink want?
 * Hogan: I don't know, but this may be our chance to buy some time. Carter, get me the picture of Klink off the wall of the delousing station.
 * Carter: Okay.
 * Hogan: I'm going to try to reach our Kommandant through his heart, if I can find it.

As Hogan is trying to convince Klink that General Burkhalter might be up to something, Helga tells Klink that Burkhalter wants to see him:


 * Helga: Herr Kommandant, the General is here to see you, sir.
 * Burkhalter: At ease, gentlemen. You have told Hogan the news?
 * Klink: We were just discussing it, sir!
 * Burkhalter: Never mind the discussion. I want action. How soon will you be ready?
 * Hogan: We were just trying to determine that, sir. I’d like some more information about this new Stalag 13.
 * Burkhalter: You will find out soon enough.
 * Hogan: I want to know which LuftStalag we will be sent to temporarily.
 * Burkhalter: That has not been determined.
 * Hogan: Will my men be protected from the civilian population during the move?
 * Burkhalter: Security is none of your affai… What is this? I walk in here and a prisoner-of-war begins to question me!?!
 * Klink: No offense, Herr General!
 * Burkhalter: I want an estimate of your moving time as quickly as possible, or there will be an offense. Against you! (Marches out)
 * Hogan: Believe it now? He ducked every question and when I pressed him, he pulled rank.
 * Klink: Yes, yes. What is to be done?
 * Hogan: Well, if I were you, I’d stall as much as you can. Burkhalter may change his mind, or it could be changed for him.
 * Klink: You don’t know him. He is a mountain.
 * Hogan: That’s true. He ought to cut down on starches.
 * Klink: The German eagle, dropping my eggs in the snow. It's terrible.
 * Hogan: Well, that’s the way the big war bounces. (Hands him a pen to autograph the picture with a grin on his face.)

After Hogan and his men have convinced Klink that there is oil under Stalag 13:


 * Hogan: What you got in mind, Kommandant?
 * Klink: After the war, a sign on the gate, and instead of Stalag 13, it reads: The Klink and Hogan Oil Company!
 * Hogan: I see your name comes first, Wilhelm?
 * Klink: Wilhelm? Aren’t you being a little familiar, Hogan?
 * Hogan: I think partners should be.
 * Klink (laughs): Yes, yes! Oh, you don’t know what this means to me. After the war, I won’t just have a 500-year old aristocratic name, but for the first time some money to go with it! (Laughs) I will be impossible!
 * Hogan: You’re doing all right now. Look I’d hate to shoot you down right over the target, but we have a problem.
 * Klink: What?
 * Hogan: If they go ahead and build on this site, they’re bound to find out about the oil and we’re dead.
 * Klink: What can we do?
 * Hogan: We should change the name on the front gate to read: The Burkhalter, Klink, Hogan Oil Company.
 * Klink: Who needs Burkhalter?
 * Hogan: We do! He’s got the power to leave Stalag 13 and our oil just the way it is!
 * Klink: Give him a piece of the pie?
 * Hogan: Or there won't be any. (Heads for the door, with a stolen cigar) I got to get some sleep.
 * Klink: Good night, Colonel.
 * Hogan: Good night, lucky! (closes the door behind him.)

After Klink goes to his bed room and informs Burkhalter about the oil:

Klink salutes and leaves.
 * Klink: What about Herr Bowman and the new plant?
 * Burkhalter: I’ll have a talk with him tomorrow. I don’t think he’s going to be too hard to handle.
 * Klink: Oh, not for you, Herr General! The three of us are going to make a winning combination!
 * Burkhalter: The three of us?
 * Klink: Oh, yes! The Burkhalter, Klink, Hogan Oil Company.
 * Burkhalter: Hogan? Who needs Hogan? (pours himself a drink)
 * Klink: Well, you see…
 * Burkhalter: Go to bed Klink, before you give away any more shares of my company.

Klink picks up one of the leaflets that is dropped by the bombers:


 * Klink: To whom it may concern, today is a sample of what you’ll get if you build a plant at Stalag 13. Good Luck!
 * Burkhalter: Our security has been broached! Bowman, this finishes any plans for building here!
 * Bowman: Of course, but how did they find out?
 * Klink: I haven’t the slightest idea, but we can…wait a minute…Hoooooogan!
 * Burkhalter: Hogan??
 * Bowman: Hogan?
 * Hogan: Don’t look at me, I only work here! (Casually salutes Klink and walks off)

Bloopers

 * Hogan and his men live in Barracks 2, but a sign on the barracks says Barracks 3. But, in the background, it is actually Barracks 2, although there is a barracks building shown between Barracks 2 and Klink's office.
 * When Hogan and Klink are in his office discussing the oil that Klink has now just discovered on the other prisoners after their "escape attempt," Klink says to Hogan, "You've been sitting on this for six months?" He mouths "six weeks" but they've dubbed over it with "six months". (DVD Release, at approx 16:38 into the episode)