Reverend Kommandant Klink

Prisoners

 * Colonel Robert Hogan - Bob Crane
 * Corporal Louis LeBeau - Robert Clary
 * Corporal Peter Newkirk - Richard Dawson
 * Sergeant James Kinchloe - Ivan Dixon
 * Sergeant Andrew Carter - Larry Hovis

Camp Personnel

 * Kommandant Wilhelm Klink - Werner Klemperer
 * Sergeant Hans Schultz - John Banner

Semi-Regulars

 * Fraulein Hilda - Sigrid Valdis
 * Major Wolfgang Hochstetter - Howard Caine

Guest Stars

 * Lt. Boucher - Felice Orlandi
 * Suzanne Martine - Susan Albert

Synopsis
Hogan sneaks a French pilot's girl into camp and gets Klink to marry them.

Plot Details
It is a particularly cold night at Stalag 13 and the prisoners have fallen out. Despite the prisoners complaints, Schultz insists they must wait for Klink. At that moment the Kommandant bursts out of his office using a whistle and asks why Schultz is standing around when he should be searching for an enemy pilot who was just shot down. Schultz organises a search effort while Hogan muses that "for a big man, Schultz moves pretty fast."

The next day, the pilot who was captured in the night, is being held in Klink's office for interrogation by Major Hochstetter. LeBeau couldn't get close enough to overhear anything useful thus the Heroes turn to their coffee pot radio. Hogan doesn't understand why one man should merit such attention, and figures Hochstetter is looking for a paticular piece of information. The pilot, Lieutenant Claude Boucher refuses to give up any information save his name, rank and serial number as per the Geneva Convetion, but Hochstetter continues to question him. Hochstetter discusses details of Boucher's background, such as his acting career in Paris before the war, and that he has family there too. The latter of the two comments causes Boucher to angrily accuse Hochstetter of blackmail. Seeing an opening, Hochstetter observes a photo in Boucher's wallet of a beautiful woman. She is Boucher's girlfriend (whom he is engaged to marry) or at least WAS according to Hochstetter who claims she now makes "the burdens of war less heavy for German officers." When challenged by Boucher, Hochstetter lyingly claims that both he and Klink have been "cared for" by Suzanne. Though a downright lie (with Klink coming close to giving the game away) Boucher falls for it and gives Hochstetter the opening he's been working towards. The Gestapo major gets to the point and offers to make prison life easier for Boucher in exchange for the location of his airbase in England before sending him to his cell to think about it. As the Heroes go over what they've just heard, Kinch asks what they should do about it. LeBeau jokingly suggests Hochstetter should give Boucher a three day pass to Paris so he can get married, an idea which Hogan approves of, with one change: the Heroes bring Suzanne to Stalag 13 for the wedding. The other Heroes question the practicality of the plan (and also Hogan's mental state) before agreeing after hearing Hogan remind them of the feats they've already performed and his reasoning that a wedding ceremony would be simple. When the point of who will perform the ceremony is brought up, Hogan suggests Klink, as he has the legal authority to make the marriage valid (much to the surprise of the other Heroes.)

Some time later, LeBeau, dressed in a Gestapo uniform is being given instructions by Hogan. He is to travel to Paris, pick up Suzanne and return to camp inside 24 hours. Kinch questions what LeBeau will do if he finds out that Suzanne really is working with the Germans. LeBeau replies that he has faith in French women, and he is also a fast runner in any case. The French corporal leaves in time as Schultz arrives for a bedcheck. Instead of counting the men however, Schultz simply takes Hogan's assertations that "everybody's here, except LeBeau," and also listens to Hogan admit that LeBeau is off to Paris before adopting his "I see nothing" attitude.

LeBeau locates Suzanne in Paris and approaches her. After being rebuffed by her as she "does not speak to German soldiers" LeBeau reveals his proper identity and that he is "a friend" of Boucher's. The French corporal explains Boucher's situation to Suzanne who is merely glad that he is safe, despite capture. LeBeau offers to take her to Stalag 13 to marry Boucher, which she happily accepts.

The next day, Hochstetter is speaking with Boucher again and reiterating the deal he made earlier. The conversation is being overheard by the Heroes as usual and Hogan decides to intervene after retrieving a pill from Kinch. The American colonel rushes to Klink's office and claims to be there to formally advise Boucher of his rights under the Geneva Convention. He then turns the conversation to a show the prisoners are peforming that evening and offers a part for Klink before "noticing" Boucher's acting ability, and asking if he could be used in the play. Hochstetter agrees that he can peform in the play (as a persuasion tactic) and also allows Hogan to give Boucher a glass of water, which Hogan claims is a test of acting ability. After Boucher drinks the water, Hogan declares Boucher to be a superb actor before leaving. Hochstetter tries to speak with Boucher about their deal again, but the French pilot falls asleep before their eyes (due to the pill Hogan secretly placed in the cup of water.) Hochstetter inspects the cup, and correctly guesses Hogan drugged Boucher's water and so declares he and Klink will perform a surprise inspection of Hogan's barracks.

Later that evening, LeBeau returns with Suzanne who is introduced to Hogan and the rest of the Heroes. As Hogan briefs Suzanne, Carter warns them that Klink, Schultz and Hochstetter are approaching. With no time to hide in the tunnel, LeBeau and Suzanne instead hide in Hogan's office. Hochstetter quickly demands a count of the prisoners, with Schultz replying "almost all are here" as he is unaware that LeBeau has returned. Hochstetter declares that an escape has occured, but Hogan replies that LeBeau is merely in his office. As the three German's approach Hogan's office, the French corporal appears dressed in his normal uniform. Hochstetter decides to investigate Hogan's office but the wily colonel instead dares Hochstetter to do so, changing the German's mind. The conversation turns to the night's play, with Hogan trying to deny Klink a part in the play, causing Hochstetter to order Hogan to let Klink perform to keep an eye on the proceedings (which is what Hogan wanted.)

That night as the Heroes are putting the finishing touches on the stage, Hogan enquires about Klink's last role (Peter Pan, when he was a boy). Hogan explains the play to Boucher; he will be the groom, Klink the celebrant, Hilda will be playing the bride and Carter and Newkirk as the mother and father of the bride respectively. Hogan tries to subtly explain what will happen during the play, but Boucher fails to understand. As Hilda goes ostensibly to change into her outfit for the play, Schultz almost gives the game away when he discovers Suzanne donning the wedding dress instead, but chooses to adopt his "I see nothing" attitude once more.

The play begins shortly thereafter with the bride giving her name as "Suzanne" and upon hearing her voice, Boucher finally realises what is happening. After making their wedding vows, Boucher and Suzanne kiss (with Suzanne out of Klink's sight) and the play ends with Klink booed off the stage by the prisoners and the confused Hochstetter merely asking "what was it?" in regards to the play.

Hochstetter confers with Klink the next day, beliving something suspicious happened during the play, but he is talked out of it by Klink and Hilda. Boucher is brought in for questioning, and Hochstetter asks for the location of Boucher's airbase. The much happier French pilot pretends to go along with it before giving them his name, rank and serial number again and a definitive no. Hochstetter angrily dismisses Boucher before declaring his doubt that the Luftwaffe could assemble enough planes to bomb the airbase anyway. Boucher leaves as Hogan enters to give the review of the play. The prisoners loved the bride and groom and were split halfway regarding the mother and father. Klink anxiously asks the reaction to his performance but Hogan simply replies "I'm sorry sir, too German looking" much to Klink's dismay.

Story Notes

 * This is the fifty-ninth episode produced in the series, but is the fifty-seventh episode to be shown on television and is the twenty-fifth episode for the second season.
 * This is Major Hochstetter's second series appearance. Beginning with this episode, Hochstetter will become a semi-recurring character for the rest of the series

Timeline Notes and Speculations

 * This is one of those episodes in which the weather must be considered when determining the date. It is bone-chilling cold to both prisoners and warders, as well as their visitors, thus implying wintertime. The cold snap provides a natural lead-in to the blizzard seen in Everybody Loves a Snowman. Additional data comes from references to other episodes. Hogan reminds his fellow heroes of the events depicted in The Flight of the Valkyrie, Hold That Tiger, and Hogan Gives a Birthday Party, which means this takes place after all three. Klink recalls the events of A Tiger Hunt In Paris, which puts this after that episode. This also happens after Color the Luftwaffe Red. In that episode, Schultz says he had never seen Carter and Newkirk act. Thus, a date in early 1944 (perhaps February?) appears to be fairly well fixed.
 * Hochstetter says he visited Paris two weeks prior to this episode. He is also wearing his "Berlin uniform" with its colonel rank insignia. This implies that he has not yet been reassigned to Hammelburg. His actions are consistent with those of Heil Klink; namely, acting as part of a Berlin-based special investigations unit.

Bloopers

 * At 21:39, when Claude and Suzanne are being 'married' by Klink, Hochstetter's face is visible for a split second beneath Claude's chin. When the veil is lifted at 21:43, Klink is off to the side, noticably not obscuring Suzanne from Hochstetter's field of view. In fact, he ought to have a clear view of her, but in spite of knowing the woman from her photograph, he is curiously unable to recognize her.
 * Paris, like other cities in wartime Europe, was under blackout restrictions every night. LeBeau wouldn't have seen many bright lights, especially on outdoor signs.