LeBeau and the Little Old Lady

Prisoners

 * Colonel Hogan - Bob Crane
 * Corporal Louis LeBeau - Robert Clary
 * Corporal Peter Newkirk - Richard Dawson
 * Sergeant James Kinchloe - Ivan Dixon
 * Sergeant Andrew Carter - Larry Hovis

Camp Personnel

 * Kommandant Wilhelm Klink - Werner Klemperer
 * Sergeant Hans Schultz - John Banner

Semi-Regulars

 * Major Wolfgang Hochstetter - Howard Caine
 * Fräulein Hilda - Sigrid Valdis

Guest Stars

 * Juliana - Sivi Aberg
 * Wilhelmina - Celeste Yarnall

Synopsis
LeBeau tells the others he is taking messages to a little old lady, when really she is a beautiful underground agent he has fallen for.

Plot Details
The Heroes are in their barracks. Newkirk is enjoying a cigarette, Carter and Kinch are enjoying a game of cards, though Kinch considerably less due to him being on a losing streak. But LeBeau is not enjoying himself at all. He has been assigned to deliver a message to a contact in town, Wilhelmina who is a radio operator for several Underground units. By LeBeau's description, she is an irritable fussy old lady whom he cannot stand. He asks the other Heroes to replace him for the mission, but none are willing. After a discussion with Hogan, LeBeau agrees to go to town to deliver the message concering a troop train and its destination.

LeBeau arrives at Wilhelmina's apartment and is greeted by a beautiful young woman. The woman is Wilhelmina, and LeBeau has been playing the other Heroes for fools by claiming she was old and irritable purely so he would be the only one to be able to spend time with her. They soon have a cup of tea and Wilhelmina asks why he is the only one the Heroes send and LeBeau simply replies that "no one ever volunteers."

Meanwhile at Stalag 13, Kinch has received a message which he gives to Hogan. They soon meet with Newkirk and Carter who are heavily involved in a card game, which Newkirk soon loses. Hogan relays the message that an Underground unit has been captured by the Gestapo, and that it is highly possible that they also picked up Wilhelmina, and seeing as how LeBeau has not returned, it it likely he has been captured too, The Heroes are naturally guilt ridden, each blaming themselves and vowing that if LeBeau returns, they will each go in his place to deliver messages to Wilhelmina and simply put up with her. At that moment, the bunk bed entrance opens and LeBeau appears, he is aware that the Gestapo was in town and left for that reason, but not before partly confessing his feelings to Wilhelmina. The Heroes explain to him the gravity of the Gestapo's presence in town, and that Wilhelmina would most likely be captured soon if she hasn't already. LeBeau instantly tries to leave the tunnels and claims that such an "old" lady would not stand a chance against Gestapo treatment. Hogan however, knowing it is to dangerous to mount a rescue attempt, orders LeBeau to stay, which he reluctantly agrees to.

However, later that night when the prisoners are sleeping, LeBeau, armed and dressed in civilian clothing, leaves the camp. His absence does not go unnoticed by the Heroes, who have searched the camp and tunnels. Concluding that he has gone to rescue Wilhelmina, Hogan announces to the rest of the Heroes that he must turn to the one man he can depend on: Klink. Schultz arrives to conduct roll call, and Hogan quickly tells him that LeBeau has escaped. Schultz, not wanting any trouble, denies Hogan's claim and insists that LeBeau is present, even going so far as to not actually perform the roll call and lie to Klink and claim all are present. Hogan quickly interrupts and informs Klink that LeBeau is missing. Schultz tries everything he can think of to stop Hogan, but Klink will have none of it, and calls for a search to be made. Carter wonders why Hogan has turned LeBeau in, but Kinch explains that it is so Klink will capture him, not the Gestapo. Newkirk doubts Klink will find him, and Hogan repsonds that they will all help him.

In two hours however, not a trace of LeBeau has been found. Klink, in desperation tries to have new guard dogs brought in for the search. Hogan enters Klink's office and offers to help find LeBeau, but Klink laughs it off musing that "the day you tell me where one of your prisoners is hiding is the day you send a birthday gift to Goering." Hogan sarcastically replies that he sent him a girdle for his last birthday causing Klink to angrily dismiss him, but recants and asks for Hogan's help. Hogan offers Klink a deal: He, Newirk and Carter will go with Klink and show him where to find LeBeau, ostensibly to protect him from Klink's "trigger happy" guards. Hogan puts the final nail in the coffin by pointing out that if the Gestapo caught LeBeau first, Klink's perfect record would be ruined and he would most likely be sent to the Russian Front. Klink soon agrees to Hogan's deal. Soon thereafter, Hogan, Newkirk and Carter, after some discussion with Schultz, take seats in Klink's car. Klink instructs Schultz to "get in the car and start driving," which he does, initially leaving Klink behind.

Meanwhile in town, LeBeau is still at Wilhelmina's apartment and is trying to convince her to leave. She however is desperate to inform her other contacts and have them flee too and refuses to leave. LeBeau declares that if she won't leave, neither will he. His staunch demeanour impresses Wilhelmina and they kiss. Hogan, Newkirk and Carter enter the apartment to find the two in their embrace. Carter slams the door shut to interrupt them, and without skipping a beat, LeBeau tells them that Wilhelmina died early that morning and the woman is her replacement. The Heroes are entirely unconvinced and realise that they've been had. After some discussion, Hogan notices by looking out the window, that Major Hochstetter has arrived along with several other Gestapo troops. Hogan quickly informs Wilhelmina that they must get her to a nearby flower shop where she will be spirited away by another Underground unit. Klink attempts to stall Hochstetter, an act which earns praise and even cheering from Newkirk and Carter, from afar. Klink uses every delaying tactic he can think of, including asking what breed of tracking dogs the Gestapo are using (Belgian). The Heroes, including LeBeau arrive from the building, and Hochstetter berates Klink for the escape and announces that he is looking for an Underground radio operator. As he speaks, an old woman appears from the building, and Hochstetter asks her if she saw anyone suspicious. She replies that she saw someone acting odd in apartment five. Hochstetter and his men enter the apartment to begin their search, and Hogan offers a lift to the old lady. Klink berates Hogan for making the offer, but agrees to take her. Once the prisoners and the "old lady" are loaded in the car, Schultz drives off, without Klink, forcing Schultz to return to pick him up. Shortly after, they arrive outside the flower shop, and LeBeau escorts the "old lady" across the road, and gives her a kiss goodbye. Klink is astounded and heartwarmed by the gesture and agrees to lower LeBeau's punishment from sixty days in the cooler to thirty.

Later at Stalag 13, Kinch informs the rest of the Heroes that Wilhelmina got away safely and that there is a new radio contact for the Undeground named Julianna. Hogan asks for a volunteer to meet her, but no one does, the general consensus being that it it practically impossible that they should receive two beautiful contacts twice in a row. Without a volunteer, Hogan decides to go himself. He meets with Julianna at her apartment, and as it turns out, she is indeed a great beauty. Hogan, upon returning to camp, honestly tells the others that she is beautiful, but it is not believed by the Heroes, leaving Hogan to have to deal with Julianna in the future, which suits him just fine.

Story Notes

 * This is the ninety-first produced episode of the series, but is the eighty-seventh to be shown on television and the twenty-fifth episode shown for the Third Season.
 * Actress Celeste Yarnall (Wilhelmina) is perhaps better known for her supporting role in the Star Trek TOS episode "The Apple." She also appeared in Hogan's Heroes in the Season 4 episode "Will the Blue Baron Strike Again?" as the nanny pushing a doll stroller in the opening sequence.
 * This episode appears to take place in Hammelburg, although the city is never named. This is due both to Hochstetter's presence and the relative ease of LeBeau in reaching Wilhelmina from Stalag 13.
 * Agent Wilhelmina is probably named for Queen Wilhelmina, the ruler of The Netherlands at the time and an ardent supporter of the Dutch resistance.
 * Mount Everest, the highest mountain on Earth, is mentioned in the episode.
 * The German Reichstag is mentioned in the episode.
 * This is one of the rare instances in which Newkirk turns down the chance to spend some time with a girl.
 * The old army saying, "Tell it to the chaplain" is referenced when Newkirk gives the address of his old unit chaplain to LeBeau, saying, "Write to him about your troubles."
 * The sign by the flower shop ("Blumen für Beerdigung") means "Flowers for Funerals."

Timeline Notes and Speculations

 * This appears to take place in the spring of 1944, sometime prior to the D-Day invasion at Normandy.
 * The Gestapo appears to be acting on intelligence about the underground first gathered during their initial crackdown on Hammelburg a few short months before ("The Battle of Stalag 13").